Indecisive

As you can tell by the title of this post I am extremely indecisive. I'm conflicted between what I want to be and who I should be, or what I want to do and should do. It's all so difficult. I just wish everything could be handed to me on a silver platter. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life and I've realized I really don't know! I'm passionate about acting and would love to pursue an acting career, but I don't know how realistic that is. I don't want to have my head in the clouds and fall one day with nothing to land on. This summer I plan to get an agent. The second school ends I'm going to be calling agencies like crazy and following through on all the steps necessary to get an agent. If I get an agent I don't expect auditions immediately, but eventually I do expect a chance. From acting I want to branch off into directing and producing; this isn't limited to film, but additionally television shows, music videos, documentaries, etc. To my parents this is all "fluff" and sometimes I can't help but second guess myself and believe them. I'm going to go for it because there is nothing worse than living a life of regret, but I have a back up plan haha.

Vashtie Kola (music video director) and Zoe Saldana (actress)

THE BACK UP PLAN. After high school, I will go to college undecided so I will be able to survey my options. When the time comes for me to declare a major I will choose psychology, double minoring in business and theatre or film studies (this is apart of my normal plan). Once I graduate I will go to med school to become a psychiatrist. I think I'd be a fairly adequate shrink, I'm good at listening to people and giving advice...for the most part.

SIDENOTE. Fashion intrigues me as well. It's always been a part of me and something I will always love. I just don't know if I can work in it. For me, it's one of those things that is sacred and I don't want ruined by the industry. I feel like I would be pressured to conform, but then again maybe not.